Kingsman : The Secret Service

An acquaintance raved about this movie on facebook and I decided to spend money on it. Whenever I watch a movie recommended by someone I go out of my way to like it. Very much unlike my usual bitchy self. But reading some reviews I was less inclined to watch it. I asked KC if we should watch Coffee Bloom instead but he was too lazy to read reviews of another movie and make a decision. So, we watched this one.

It's a spy movie based on the comic book The Secret Service. It stars Colin Firth, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Cane, Mark Strong, Taron Egerton and Sophie Cookson. 

I am not into comic books anymore and the only ones I read in my childhood were Archies, Billu, Pinky, Chacha Chaudhary, Champak and Tinkle. The spy comic books (does Chacha Chaudhary count) were never my forte. I did read Tin Tin once in a while but it was too expensive to be a regular habit. 

So, I understand if comic book fans are enraged by the review. But let me say that I did like the Tin Tin movies. I think they are pretty good and I don't mind watching them over and over again with KC. 

Kingsman is one of the most ridiculous movies I have seen. It reminded me of Rohit Shetty, Ajay Devgan, Akshay Kumar, Salman Khan and Rajnikanth movies. And no, there is nothing good to remember about any of these guys. 

The story goes like this. There is a super secret service called Kingsman which is above even the government (of course). Saving the world rests solely on their shoulders (doesn't it always). Chester, played by Michael Cane, is the leader while Harry Hart, Colin Firth, is a veteran agent. He has the task of finding a new agent when one of the agents is killed. He comes across Eggsy, Taron, and nominates him for the interview process which involves sky diving, finding a way out of a room full of water and many such things. 

The villain is Valentine, Samuel Jackson, who wants to save the planet by killing all humans. YES- THAT is the whole plot and we spent 2 hours for this shit. Harry gets killed... Chester turns to be hand in glove with Valentine... and Eggsy, the underdog, gets to save the world with help from Roxy (Sophie) and Merlin (Mark). The action is simply ridiculous. It's straight out of a Rohit Shetty movie. Harry is dressed in a super expensive suit throughout and fights and kills in the same without getting a wrinkle or a drop of blood on himself. I need those super human powers NOW. I cannot go a day without staining my whites. 

I kept trying to like the movie but when Eggsy starts fighting guns toting goons with an umbrella I burst out laughing and making loud comments like 'I hope Eggsy's mother kills the baby before the world is saved. Then I will like the movie'. But KC sushed and asked me not to disturb others. Sigh. Hate it when he is right. 
And the part about Eggsy wanting to have anal sex with the princess made me puke. Enough with the anal sex jokes. It's not fun or funny. 

Colin Firth looks dashing, as always. Overall, the movie is crap... Hollywoodish crap. I am so tired of Hollywood saving the world. Save yourselves, guys. Stop churning out crap. I'd rather watch Bollywood crap instead. Atleast our actresses are hot (excluding the fat cow- Sonakshi Sinha).


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