Dhoom 3

So, I was dragged for this movie against my wishes. I had read the reviews and knew it is crap. The best thing about the flick is Uday Chopra... and I am not being sarcastic.
This is what I think happened. Adi Chopra was thinking about 'what next' in next Dhoom instalment.

Dhoom is about:
- Abhishek Bachan - and his 2-3 expressions. They actually work in this flick.
- Uday Chopra- his ugliness makes him funnier
- Hot babes in bikini: This is the series which made Esha Deol look hot... Bips, Aish- even though I wanted to slap her everytime she opened her mouth, she looked hot
- Bikes... of course
- And a hot, hot villain- John Abraham, Hrithik Roshan

Adi came up with the idea of Aamir Khan as the villain. What a coup. So, Aamir was brought in... but he brought his intellect along... and turned the above to below:

- Abhishek Bachan and his 2-3 expressions to a minuscule role... and entry in an auto rickshaw instead of bike
-  Uday Chopra... as ugly as ever... but funny
- Katrina whose only brief was 'tone up... all you have to do is look good in bra tops and shorts'... don't care about your acting or Hindi. We will only call you for the songs... 1 scene, 1 kiss and the end
- Bike... which can fly... convert to a boat... convert to a submarine... and do all kinds of stupid things. Much better than Harry Potter's broom or any magic carpet
- A not so hot villain... who dances like a monkey... has 1 expression in the movie

Aamir also didn't understand the whole concept and pushed Adi to have a back story for the villain. So, we have Jackie Shroff as the irritating, stupid father who prefers to commit suicide leaving his son alone rather than find a way out of his problems. Jackie also charged so much money that the back story was shown 2-3 times to justify the fees. Aamir didn't stop there... he wanted more... so, he is in a double role... playing a sort of mentally retarded guy and he charged double his fees.

Adi's music, promotion/marketing, special effects, Katrina's costume (Aish's clothes kicked ass in Dhoom 2... no such luck for Kat... her clothes were bought from fashion street), Abhishek's bike budget was all used for Aamir (paid double), his hat, his tap dance (unnecessary) and his bike (broom/magic carpet).

I blame Aamir for the flick's downfall. He has taken all the fun out of it. It made me want to pull out my hair. The special effects are embarrassing.
You will not be able to survive it even if you leave your brains behind. Horrible... pathetic...

Dhoom 3= The Fast and Furious + Harry Potter + Superman + Spiderman + Ram aur Shyam + Ek thi Daayan (just the scene where they show 2 Aamirs... I thought it was a trick)

The 1 star is for Uday Chopra.


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